IFIO (‘Intimacy from the Inside Out’) is the name for IFS-based couples therapy. IFIO has adapted the principles of IFS, as they are used with individual clients, to addressing and helping with the problems that couples may encounter in relationships.
As in the rest of our lives, we are never just ‘one person’ in our relationships: we bring all of our parts to this complex dynamic and expect them to always harmonise with our partner. When inevitably their needs are not met, it can seem like catastrophe, as the youngest and most sensitive parts are disproportionally affected. We pull away from our partner just when intimacy and connection are most needed. We can quickly find ourselves in a downward loop of disconnection and separation.
IFIO seeks to make these parts and their negative pattern explicit in the relationship, and help partners get into a place where they can communicate and live together through a new, shared awareness of each other. The result is a more intimate, mutually supportive and fulfilling personal relationship.
Why couples come to IFIO
- their relationship is generally good but could do with improvement
- over time the couple has grown apart and they feel more like friends or housemates than intimate partners
- their relationship is not good, there are constant arguments and disagreements and each partner feels isolated, misunderstood and resentful
- there has been a significant rupture of trust and the couple fear for the future of their relationship
- they face a significant challenge that they need help to find a way through; for instance, one partner may want to have children and the other doesn’t
- they have already made a decision to separate and want to have as amicable a break up as they can; especially if children are involved
What you can expect
IFIO gives couples the opportunity to be active participants in their relationships, to make Self-led, conscious choices rather than to be at the mercy of their isolated, reactive parts.
Couples learn how to:
- intervene in the never-ending cycle of miscommunication, resentment, isolation
- uncover in a safe and supported way the underlying reasons for these bad feelings and the ineffectual responses to them
- communicate/make themselves heard in a way that their partner can hear/that will be heard
- increase connection, intimacy and joyfulness
- speak in a way that feels safe and gets heard, which they can take home with them
- save a failing relationship, or if the relationship really isn’t viable, part on the best possible terms
Click here to schedule an IFIO couples therapy intro session (30 mins; no charge)